The Chuck Norris Experiment
The Chuck Norris Experiment
Released: February 7th, 2006
Reviewed by Dekompoze
Posted on 31st March, 2006
Average time to read: 2:57 minutes
01. Senorita (Lookout)
02. Little Demon
03. Radioshadow
04. I'm The Law
05. Go Heavy (On The Honey)
06. Dinosaur Fire
07. Reason For My Bad
08. Speedfever
09. Caped Crusader
10. Ugly Motherfucker Looking Just Like You
Running Length: 32:13
In case nobody’s pointed it out yet, or you haven’t noticed it on your own, rock and roll is trying to make a comeback. The industry as a whole seems to be suddenly shifting towards the more straight-on, balls out, newer rock bands out there. Granted, many of these bands aren’t really “new” at all. With Wolfmother set to crash hard upon North American shores (if they aren’t already), there might actually be a chance that this revival of sorts will have some legs to stand on. As this hype machine revs up, lo and behold, I get an odd CD by the oddly named The Chuck Norris Experiment in my mailbox one day. I didn’t really know what to expect, honestly, besides the bold print words “Swedish Rock” blaring across the promo write-up. Okay, well, I figured if it’s at least as good as The Accidents, or Truckfighters, it should be damn entertaining.
While this rock and roll rebirth might be riding a nice wave of retro-interest, The Chuck Norris Experiment will more than likely be better known for their joke-inducing name, and not their music. Of course, rock music is a genre that considers itself to be beyond critique, it’s just meant to be enjoyed for what it is. No deep lyrical themes. No super-involved structural details. Nothing that’s too heavy. I get it. We all get it. There’s a fine line between having fun, and being a clown, and unfortunately, most of this CD sounds quite clownish.
This ostentatious disc’s reach far exceeds it’s rollicking grasp, and even if it is rather amusing during certain times, as in the case of “Reason For My Bad’, the bouncy, hook-heavy ‘Speedfever’, and closing elbow-throwing pit dance of ‘Ugly Motherfucker Looking Just Like You’. The rest of the time, The Chuck Norris Experiment sound more like a contrivance than a band to get stoned to, throw back a few beers with, and get laid by, which is what rock is all about, little boys and girls. I wouldn’t even call it driving music. It’s more like something you’d toss on your younger brother’s bed and tell him to have fun dry-humping after he figures out how much Atreyu sucks. Meaning, for him, it’ll be an improvement, and getting on the right path towards something more substantial.
As for the weathered and blistered of us, this certainly won’t be the album to spark our interest in the corpse rising from the denim jacketed, cuffed pant-legged jeans grave. Sure, it’s got a ton of groove, and a good sense of timing, but the execution and presentation is only garage-worthy. Honestly, the first few times I spun this album, it came across as the offspring from a three-way sexcapade between Faster Pussycat, Rancid, and Amen, heavy on the Faster Pussycat. There’s something grating about the jocular vocal delivery, the sameness of the songs, and the lack of interesting rock and roll riffs. The production is badass, I’ll give them that, but the lasting impression is minimal even after almost a dozen listens. It actually gets more annoying with each play.
Folks, the cover is the coolest thing about this album, sorry to say. This is brain-dead, vapidly conceptualized, nondescript punk rock party music, and if that was the goal, it succeed with flying colors. There’s enough of an authentic bite to keep it from sounding entirely bubblegum-like, but it still doesn’t save it from sounding juvenile. The hooks are there, but they’re old hooks. The bounce is there, but it’s re-treaded ground.
If it wasn’t for the explosive energy given to these entirely average compositions, I’d call this album a farce from a band who’s members (some of them are also in Rickshaw, Taurus, and Tiamat) desperately need an alternative artistic outlet away from their other projects. As unpredictable as the readers of this site are, this will either hit some of you like a ton of bricks, or go over like a lead balloon, but from someone who really loves good rock music, this just ain’t cutting it for me.
And by the way, if you expected me to make some crack about there being no life on Mars because Chuck Norris was already there and told us so, you’re sadly mistaken.
This entry was posted by Dekompoze on Friday, 31st March, 2006 at 8:47 and is filed under Reviews, The Chuck Norris Experiment.
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chuck norris experiment…
obviously these guys are capitalizing on the latest chuck norris internet craze…
anyway, as long as poeple can buy the back-catalogue of The Hellacopters, Turbonegro, Gluecifer, The Datsuns… hell even the Backyard Babies… there is no need for more Swedish neo-garage rock copycats…
It looks like The Chuck Norris Experiment have broken up guys. I just checked their website, and all members of the band were killed mysteriously by a round house kick. The murderer, whose identity has not yet been announced, currently eludes the authorities.
Does every CD automatically get a 5/10? Spot-on review, but that number is way too high. Your 5.5 is extremely optimistic. I’ve heard this record (checked it out of curiosity), and to give it more than a 2 would require one hell of an uphill explanation.
I love rock and roll, but this band is just lame. Everything about it is so generic and trite that there’s not enough cocaine on earth to make get into it. This band makes Nickelback sound like Megadeth.
By the way, somebody once told Chuck Norris that a roundhouse kick isn’t actually the best way to kick somebody.
Historians mark this as the worst mistake ever made by anybody.
Ferret, that was funny.
Chuck Norris “experimented” on their asses. And by “experiment”, I mean “brought death”.
For my friend, BlackLabelAxe…
0-3.5: Offensively awful, but i’ve given a “0″ to albums I felt were beyond conventional rating, which is the same as a “null rating”, and falling back on the review itself to explain. But, typically, this is for the worst of the worst.
4-5.5: Generic, badly executed, or just plain Meh’, *pfft* next…
6-7.5: Good, but lacking in anything really special warranting repeat listens over time. Something you’d have to be in the mood for, but appealing for the most part.
8-8.5: A great album, no major flaws, appealing under most circumstances, and displaying brief genius.
9-9.5: Exceptional, standout, greatly appealing to just about anyone who considers themselves a metal fan.
10: Tough to give, because it’s based on so many things, and it’s hard to go back on once you give it, no matter what. It doesn’t have to be another ‘Master Of Puppets’ (which, sorry to say, isn’t a fucking 10 album by any means), but it does have to show untouchable quality, or innovation, or both. Most “10″s are highly debatable.
Chuck Norris rules, by the way
.
BlackLabelAxe said: “This band makes Nickelback sound like Megadeth”
harsh words…
man, that must be the crappiest album you’ve ever heard !
will steer away from this one, thanks!
Jay, Check them out on Myspace.com, it’s much cheaper that way.
It’s not that it’s “offensively awful”, it’s just so uncreative that it will irritate the hell out of you.
Deke, your rating system makes a lot of sense. I would give it a 2 because it is so damn uncreative that it makes the whole mother genre look stupid.
Any of Nickelback’s albums beat the holy dogshit out of this one from start to finish.
For a true 10/10 see Nevermore’s This Godless Endeavor. Its the most recent album in league with Rust In Peace, Blackwater Park, Piece Of Mind, Last Fair Deal Gone Down, Jester Race, South Of Heaven etc.
BTW, what the fuck is up with all the stupid names:
Chuck Noris Experiment
Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza
Gay For Johnny Depp
Obviously they are tryng to tap into The Dillinger Escape Plan sort of moniker (and sound), but it just comes across as sooooooo bloody lame.
Damn…seems like some people think they are more of an expert on reviewing than the reviewer is…
Rabbit,
I wouldn’t claim to be an expert. I’m just an opinionated asshole.